TV news is dead

This Just In: Local Television News Gives Up the Ghost

By Hannah Nielsen
Staff Writer

Local television news is dead.

Several sources sounded the death knell Wednesday, with abundant supporting documentation, for the local evening news, as we know it.

“It’s no secret that there’s a tendency toward bad blood between newspapers and television news,” said Stephen Jackson, Times-Herald editor. “But that doesn’t diminish the facts. People have been saying ‘Print is dead,’ ‘Newspapers are dead,’ but here we still are, hanging on.”

Sources agree, the hurdles that have risen up against local television news include:

  • The rise of cable news networks
  • The quest to find news online
  • Other credible, inexpensive news sources are drying up.

“It’s simple. As budgets grow ever tighter, the competition has grown

stronger, viewers aren’t viewing, and each broadcast has begun to cost more money,” said Ms. X, a TV news insider who spoke on condition of anonymity.

“Consumers want the news they really want immediately — online, or via text message to their phone,” said one pundit with a finger on his iPhone. “They’re selective about what they want delivered directly, but waiting until 5 or 10 p.m. and giving each story maybe 30 seconds is simply too little too late.”

But really, it comes down to this single point.

As newspapers die — and those that don’t die shrink to near oblivion — TV news’ cheapest source of news stories disappears.

“If they can’t quote the newspaper — always without citing it specifically, of course — well. Feet on the ground reporting takes a lot more time and effort,” said Suzy Smythe, Times-Herald reporter.

Film at 11.

* This article is a spoof. All quotes, names, and characters are fictional.

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17 responses to “TV news is dead

  1. This is probably close to the truth. My mom is the only person I know who watches the local news.

  2. I love this!!!! Very clever.

  3. This is so fun! Hannah, I love it!

    Thank you for doing it. It is so creative. I can’t thank you enough for your wonderful posts this week.

  4. SUCH a fun and creative post! How did you end up getting the columns to work? Did you do it in another program and turn the document into an image?

  5. So true. Great post. Love the setup Word Lily.

    Thomas

  6. What fun! And since I teach in a journalism school I can confirm your facts. 😀

  7. Cleverly done. For what it’s worth, my background is as a former TV news producer/writer/editor – network, not local – and I have to agree with what’s said here about the local folks…not, to be sure, the nets… 😉

  8. Awesome! Way to go Hannah!

  9. I watch the local news at noon if I’m home, because it’s a friendlier version. Otherwise our tv is tuned to CNN!

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