Art avalanche

Word Lily thoughts

A wise friend, a few years older than me, told me that the surrender thing [i.e., admitting that I can’t do it all, that some dreams won’t come true] gets easier at age 30. So far that hasn’t been true for me, though.

The list of things I want to do in life may have focused a little — and maybe that’s what she meant — but it’s still a long list.

I still dream. I’m still passionate about what-feels-like too many things.

But rather than being forced to surrender (or, if not to surrender then to write off much this life has to offer, as Linda Holmes beautifully framed a dichotomy) I choose — today, at least — to embrace that tension. To live, knowing I won’t get to read anywhere close to all the books I could have loved (not to mention the music, film, visual art) and still not write off huge swaths of art as not worth my time.

I live in that state of semi-depression, surrounded by the things I don’t have time for, but not willing to admit (all that often) how stringent my limitations actually are. Maybe this is what Holmes was saying, actually.

And what happens when you throw into this mix the contention that one must read a book 5 times to actually have read it?

Sigh.

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11 responses to “Art avalanche

  1. That is a lovely sigh..and yes I am battling with the urge to read read read…I need to clone myself!

  2. I think, for me, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve not surrendered but learned that there’s a time and place for everything and the time and place I’m in is right here and now. I’m learning to live in the moment and understanding that THE adventure I’ve been dreaming about is right HERE as opposed to down the road. Easier said than done, of course, but it’s sort of how i’ve been viewing things, lately.

  3. And the battle between consumption and just living…sometimes reading isn’t the right choice.

  4. I’ll be 40 next year…surrendering every morning!

  5. Reading this made me a little sad. Not boohoo sad, more bittersweet. As I get older I realize that your wise friend is right, but you’re also right, too. Sure we can’t do everything we want to do in a single lifetime, but there is still the beauty of hope.

    It’s about moving forward with desire to accomplish what we set out to do and do as much of it as possible so when we’re in our dotage, we can look back and sigh, wishing we could have done more, but knowing we did everything we could. Hope that makes sense. 😀

    Right now I’ve made peace with the fact that I won’t read every book in my library and am working to pare it down to the books I absolutely love and the books I’m certain I want read. As for reading a book 5 times to say you’ve read it…erm…not too sure about that one. Some books are only worth reading once, if that. 😉

  6. I’m looking at 40 this year and still have just as many dreams, andthe realization that they won’t all come true. But some unexpected joys will come my way (like Gage).

  7. Hi! I love this post! You capture my feelings exactly. This feels like a lifelong tension for me. Some days I can accept the tension and other days I feel like kicking and screaming about it and demanding more time in each day! I have to work really hard at not comparing myself to others too. Especially with the reading/blogging aspect. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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