Tag Archives: motherhood

(W)rambly Wednesday

How ’bout some random rambling this fine Wednesday?

  • I’m actually reading two books right now, one fiction and one nonfiction. This is weird for monogomous-reader me. But it’s not unheard of. And in actuality, this looks more like I’m reading the novel while the nonfiction brick waits for me to reach the novel’s end. Maybe I’ll talk about books tomorrow?
  • I ordered the linen to make this skirt. A few iterations of it, actually. I might get to the store today for the waistband fabric, too.
  • My mom attempted to teach me to sew when I was a child, just like everything else. But unlike, say, crochet, sewing didn’t stick. I felt horrible at it, and the sewing machine needle scares me. I made some gargantuan roman shades a few years ago — with tons of help — but I’m still skittish about sewing. Hopefully these skirts work out and I love them, though! I really want to.
  • I feel like just in the last … month, maybe? Or less? I’ve actually started using Pinterest the way it’s most often used. I’m pinning to a variety of boards, finding inspiration and ideas both on and off Pinterest. This seems weird. But good.
  • I cleaned out my closet this week, removing everything that doesn’t fit and/or I hate. I was left with a small fraction of the original, but we’ll see if it’s actually too few items or not. I’d feel better if the stack of stuff I removed was actually out of the bedroom, though …
  • The bulk of what I removed is too-big shirts. Maybe I need to do some t-shirt reconstruction? Any suggestions on where to start? (See related: Fear of sewing, above.)
  • A is becoming more and more of a walker. He still crawls and cruises some, but he’s just as likely to walk without holding on.
  • Teething is really awful. Why isn’t there a less painful way to get teeth?
  • I’ve actually been spinning a bit lately, which is awesome. I’m looking forward to participating in Tour de Fleece again this year.
  • I’m actually starting to feel confident in my stranded colorwork knitting abilities! I’m working on A’s Christmas stocking, and I like the way it’s looking so far.

OK, that’s probably enough for today. I could go on, but if I stop now, this will actually get published today, whereas if I continue rambling, that may not be the case.

How’s your Wednesday? What’s going on in your world?


First snow and leaps

We had the first significant snow of the year yesterday. It was so much fun to take Asa out in it! Sorry, no pics. We were kind of in a hurry.

I finally bought The Wonder Weeks last night, and then proceeded to read the beginning part and the chapter on the developmental leap we’re now entering (Leap number 6, Wonder Week 37). Asa will be 31 weeks on Saturday, but these leaps are calculated based on gestational age, so he’s 33.5 weeks now, which is when the fussy period for this leap usually starts. We’re right on schedule, except we’ve apparently missed the sunny period beforehand, which usually comes *after* they realize mom can leave them. We’re still not quite over this yet, I don’t think. Maybe this realization is tied more to actual age rather than gestational age? If so, that would explain the overlap of the two for us.

I’ve heard such good things about this book, how it’s helped moms understand and thus deal with the fussy phases that precede / accompany these leaps in neurological function, so I hope it helps us, too. It’s so hard to watch him struggle! So far, the book seems to have described my experience perfectly; I really hope that understanding will translate into a smoother transition for him and a less stressed-out mama. (Maybe I need to read that chapter again, while he’s still down for his nap …)

It’s so much fun to watch new skills emerge! I wonder which ones he’ll pursue first this time. 😀

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Women United

I’m hearing from all corners of my digital world lately that women are tired of the divisions we create amongst ourselves and that we need to step out from under these shoulder-heavy labels and come alongside one another, banding together1.

I’m not talking about politics.

I’m talking about friendship. (Although the examples I’m starting with relate to motherhood, this is broader than that, oh women-without-children. I’m getting there.) Both online relationships and in-person interactions.

It can be tough to advocate for what you feel is right or best without cutting down people who chose differently, but we need to find a way. Can’t we promote breastfeeding without ostracizing mothers who couldn’t or didn’t for whatever reason? Women who, say, adopted, shouldn’t be made to feel less like good mothers because they didn’t breastfeed their babies. Although we may philosophize that c-sections are performed more often than they need to be, let us not forget that there are so very many factors that lead up to such decisions (if they’re even decisions). How a woman gave birth (or if she even did so, physically) does not have much, if any, bearing on what kind of a mom she is. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt, OK? We’re all doing the best we can, given our circumstances, education and support structure. Which isn’t to say that people who choose differently than I do are less educated. There is (often) no one absolute right choice, it can vary depending on the players and the situations.

Why do we criticize the women who chose to go back to work after having children (or look down on those who stay home)? How do we have time to fight with each other about extended breastfeeding when we’re so busy caring for our families? I, for one, have enough mother-guilt without other moms adding to the heap.

And as bad as moms fighting moms is, this is broader than that, too. We’re so caught up in all the decisions of motherhood that we (usually unintentionally, but still) exclude and wound those without children. I know that happens because I’ve experienced it. And I’ve watched it happen. Friends, please know that as happy as I am to be in the Mother Club, I still remember the pain of being outside that group. I will never intentionally draw that exclusionary line or inflict pain.

I am so grateful for the friends who, when they took that step to motherhood ahead of me, were sensitive to my growing pain and talked about more than their children. Please know that I still have interests (even passions) outside of my offspring. As much a part of my daily life as my son is, he’s not the only thing. We can find other things to talk about. 🙂

Let’s be open and honest with each other — keeping some topics taboo certainly doesn’t help the situation — and try to be mindful that as many differences as we may seem to have, we’re all human and have more in common than we have differences. Let’s encourage one another and come alongside as we can. Let’s lift up our sisters rather than tearing them down. We’re in this together, and I think we can make our collective loads lighter with even something as simple as a kind word.

Have you experienced this pain and/or the balm of encouragement? What stepping stones do you see in the path to unity?

1 Trish at Love, Laughter and a Touch of Insanity. Sarah Bessey. Several of the Ravelry forums I frequent. Rachel Held Evans. Lisa-Jo Baker.